Kate Gosselin

Okay...

I have to get this post off my chest. I've been holding back, but it's time to talk about Kate Gosselin's hair. This is a very serious discussion we're about to have here, and I want you all to be prepared for the content to come.

Let's start by reviewing the facts.

1. It's ugly.

b. It's spikey.

VII. It's got some sort of bang-sheet-tupee-looking thing in the front.

last. It's really ugly.

What was her hairstylist thinking? What was she thinking? I mean, ok... eight kids and a shady husband who never really acted like a parent might make me a little nuts too. In the earlier seasons of John and Kate Plus 8, her hair looked a little more normal and bob-like. As their show became more popular, there seemed to be a direct correlation between her lifeless marriage, stress, and her hair getting worse and worse. Maybe she let little Joel or Alexis cut it for her, but even if that were the case...I still don't think it would look as bad as it does.

Here's the scariest, more horrifying part of it all though: Women are asking for this haircut. This monstrosity that should not even be called a haircut...it should be called "porcupine halloween: roadkill reunion." (I don't know what that even means.) Each time a guest sits down and hands us a picture of Kate Gosselin's butchered brillo-locks, I want to smile menacingly while crumpling up the photo, chew it up and spit it out in gooey, saliva-y chunks on their face. Woodland animals such as badgers and even the pileated woodpecker have better coifs than this hack job on Kate's noggin.

My final question is this: Why hasn't the today show run an intervention? Just picture it. Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ann and Meredith all sit around on their fluffy white couch with Kate and let her know that Davey Crockett called and wants his coonskin hat back. That Alfalfa and Buckwheat have a better shot at entertainment than she does with that hairdo. Or that they'd rather look at a dog's shaved butt than have to spend another minute wondering what is on her head. And then to top off, Willard Scott would chime in from his little Smucker's throne, "Kate...do yourself a favor and grow that Sh*t out, hunny."

(sorry if I've offended anyone.)

Tune in tomorrow for my evaluation of the top 5 worst haircuts in all of history.