professionalism and butt massages

Once upon a time, a guest told me that her husband had his butt massaged at our school.

woman (getting her eyebrows waxed: "So...I have a question. It's kind of funny, actually. Is it okay if I ask you?"
me: "Sure, sure..." (hesitant and awkward...I tried way too hard to acommodate for this and my voice came out really high.)
woman: "My husband was in for a massage...the stress relieving treatment -- is that what it's called? Well, he was getting his massage and...they massaged his butt..."
me: "ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

at this point, we were both laughing uncontrollably, tears rolling out of our eyes. I mean, how often do you hear "so-and-so got their butt massaged"? Say it out loud...it sounds ridiculous. I think, too, that it's weird to hear a stranger say the word "butt." Most of the time, people will say "bottom" or "rear" or "buttocks" (which is also hilarious, but maybe a little more tactful than just "butt").

Anyway, I told her, still through laughing-at-the-choir-during-church giggles, I explained to her that students are not certified to give full body massages (decla-ta-ta's up, knees down), making her husband's backside rubdown absolutely, completely against state laws.

What made the student think it was okay? Was the guy handsome? The wife was your typical midwest, middle-aged, medium-sized, average-looking mother-of-three, who probably worked a day job as a receptionist or in some cubicle in the admissions building at U of M. Very nice, but nothing extraordinary, leading me to imagine her husband was either: a) Joe the Plumber, b) Her quarterback-high-school-sweetheart turned budweiser-drinking-contractor, or c) an electrician (let's be real here...there are SO MANY hot electricians! really! it's gotta be a statistic you can look up on google or something). He's either gotta be really handsome and distinguished for a middle-aged man, or well - a plain ole' middle-aged man, complete with a beer belly and The Simpsons OnDemand.

The only thing I'm picturing is the scene from Dumb and Dumber, when Harry and Lloyd finally get to Aspen. They're walking downtown and a good-looking couple walks by:
Lloyd: "Look at the butt on that one..."
Harry: "Yeah, He must work out."

So...I guess I'm just really baffled as to what made the student think she could do this. Maybe she thought it was part of the back massage? Maybe he was really friendly and she figured "why not?" I have no idea. Nothing in my mind could ever justify massaging a man's butt. Not even a dare would convince me. Or free Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

Suzy Midwest and I had a good laugh about it, pretty much through her whole service (at one point, through fits of giggles, I made sure to clarify that the "finishing touch" her husband received would not be included in her appointment). Neither of them were offended, because it was such an odd situation, and it was pretty much left at that. But this makes me wonder what else goes on behind the curtains in the spa, and what conversations people are having with their guests, and what the student-to-teacher or student-to-guest relationships are really like.

These stories are what make me happy about life every single day.
:)